Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Conversation with another Catholic

Today I gave my neighbour a ride somewhere. He is Catholic, born and raised.
He was so suprised I chose all on my own to convert from Lutheran to Catholic.
He was also suprised I knew so much about the Catholic faith, he didn't think I was so knowledgeable about it.

I do know alot. And I know where to find the answers.

And I have learned alot in the past few weeks.
Like how to pump gas (no kidding...never pumped it in 17 years of driving)
Like what to do when the coolant level sensor is low
Like how to check the oil
Like how to change a lightbulb that is too high to reach
Like how to check for RATS and MICE...they basically give me panic attacks but I now have to deal with it myself.
Like how to balance being a single mom and organize everything.

Monday, October 30, 2006

St. Stephen answered me

I briefly said a prayer asking for his help but before I went to bed to say the majority of my prayers I already had an answer.

I have been too nice.
2 seperate things happened that I found out about which were the tip of the iceberg. I was being nice and got treated horribly.

Not saying I won't be nice to everyone else and Christian like to others, but I just need to protect myself more.

Thanks to St. Stephen and Jesus for working so quickly to help me.
I know Jesus is carrying me right now...I know Mother Mary has me wrapped in her mantle. Thanks and praise for that.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Blessed Mary Restituta Kafka

This woman truly is an inspiration to me. First of all she was a nurse. A surgical nurse (which is what I wanted to be...I was accepted into the surgical program but found out I was pregnant with my first born). She stood up against the Nazi's. She refused to give up her love for Jesus and retract her religious beliefs. I pray that I could be that strong. I sometimes wonder if I would die for Jesus. I find it is one thing to say something but it changes when it comes down to the crunch.

Someone else talked about

When are we a servant and when does that cross the line to be a slave to someone. Which made me wonder if sometimes I am too nice, loving, kind and let people walk all over me.

How far does God want me to go to please and help others. I give to the beggars, I have taught my children to do so, to help out. Today my son told me they probably would get a doughnut with the money. I said it wasn't up to me to decide what they do with it. I am helping them because that's what Jesus would do.

I am trying to be nice in a certain situation in my life but I'm afraid it's going to backfire. Yesterday I was accused of not being nice, that I was trying to punish this person. Well that is not true. I have done everything to go out of my way to please this person and my children. I want neither to suffer. It's hard to know exactly what to do.

Where do you draw the line between being Christian, helping others, being nice to them, making it so that when they look at you they see the face of Jesus and when to stand up for yourself, your family and the right thing. Should being a Christian mean everyone can walk all over you?

I will talk to St. Stephen tonight, ask him to help me. After all he was the ultimate nicest person...forgiving those who stoned him to death. Perhaps he will help me to decide where the line should be that I need to draw.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

This is hard

I really miss him.
It's very hard...am I doing the right thing??????

I want to ask him why, but I don't think he'll ever be able to answer that one.


Ok, I really am starting to feel like Job.
I made a list the other day. I have had 8 really horrible, traumatic things happen in my life and a bunch of little everyday stuff that eventually adds up. I am thankful none of these things have involved my children but I wonder why me?

I have searched the internet and came up with:
It brings me closer to God. I will lean and rely on him more.
It brings me closer to understanding the suffering Jesus did for us.
Jesus ended the suffering of all those people who came to him, he will end mind too.
It is something I can offer up for the good of others.
It will lessen my time in purgatory.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.... Matthew 5:4
Is all this a test of Satan? To see if I will still remain faithful to God?
As a result of sin.

It's hard looking at bits and peices of our lives. God sees the whole thing. I have no idea what the end result will be, somewhere there is beauty in it. Maybe I can't see it but God does.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

It's Friday

The day the Lord died. Remember that, he died for our sins. To save us so we can go to heaven. Imagine that, really think about what it means.

Pray the rosary, say the Stations of the Cross, do some Penance and say a prayer of thanks for all that he did for you.

I often do penance for others...but I need it myself now. It's hard right now, but I know Jesus is carrying me at this time.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Did you remember it's Tuesday... Mother of Perpetual Help.
And yes I need help...LOL.

Off to say devotions to her.
I should have saved Tuesday and Friday pages before I deleted everything. Oh well.

Prayer to Saint Rita
Dear Rita, model Wife and Widow, you yourself suffered in a long illness showing patience out of love for God. Teach us to pray as you did. Many invoke you for help, full of confidence in your intercession. Deign to come now to our aid for the relief and cure of my family. To God, all things are possible; may this healing give glory to the Lord. Amen.

Forty Martyrs of England and Wales

We must say prayers today for these people who lost their lives defening the faith during the time of Henvy VI.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Prayers for Strength

A Prayer for Strength

My Lord God, through whom strength is made perfect in weakness, I pray to you, give me the strength I need.
You have said, that to your children who have no might, you will increase strength. I am weak. Bless me with a measure of strength, as may be sufficient for me.
When I am tempted by evil, deliver me, by granting me the power to overcome it. When my daily work is too hard for me, give me the strength to be able to do it.
If my burden oppresses me beyond my bearing, lighten my load, that my strength may be equal to it.
You have helped many, I beg you to help me.
Thank you my Lord. Amen.

Saint Dymphna
Lord, our God, you graciously chose St. Dymphna as patroness of those afflicted with mental and nervous disorders. She is thus an inspiration and a symbol of charity to the thousands who ask her intercession.

Please grant, Lord, through the prayers of this pure youthful martyr, relief and consolation to all suffering such trials, and especially those for whom we pray. (Here mention those for whom you wish to pray).

We beg you, Lord, to hear the prayers of St. Dymphna on our behalf. Grant all those for whom we pray patience in their sufferings and resignation to your divine will. Please fill them with hope, and grant them the relief and cure they so much desire.

We ask this through Christ our Lord who suffered agony in the garden. Amen.

Prayer for Strength to Forgive

Faultless Lord, enduring death for me,
You have consummated the debt of my sins:
Your sacrifice of forgiveness was absolute!
Grant me the strength to also forgive others,
To excuse their transgressions against me.
So I may truly reflect this spiritual fruit,
Obliterate any persistent feelings of malice.
Let each trespass end as a closing chapter,
My continuing on the road of righteousness.
Forgive my sins as I aspire to forgive others.
You are truly archetypical of forgiveness.
You are a most forgiving Lord!

For Those Coping With Divorce

Lord, be with this family as they transition into two separate households. Let your eternal light radiate throughout both homes, that this child may know your lovingkindness, as manifested by her parents, who love her, Lord. Let both this husband and wife grow strong in your love and live their lives according to Your will and not their own... I also pray for all children of divorce, that they have both their parents in their lives, and never doubt for one second that they are loved and cherished, and precious in Your sight. Thy will be done Lord, Amen.

Father, I belong to you. I place myself anew in your hands and acknowledge you as Master and Lord of my life. Grant me the gift of a forgiving heart and cleanse me of any anger, hostility, or revenge. Heal my hurts and teach me to rely on your love. Grant me wisdom of heart and strengthen me by your grace to move on in faith, in trust, and in love. Thank you, Lord, for your love in my life.

One less magazine to read

Ms Magazine is going to pusblish a list who claim they have had abortions and don't regret i. I have a hard time believing those women would murder the fetus and admit it. What a topic...who else wants to admit they killed someon, or they have mental problems, or that they didn't handle the abortion well. Most women have some sort of negative feelings after the abortion. So sad because it could have been prevented.

What is the difference if it's the day before the baby is born or two days after. (I'm sure post partum kicks in alot think about ando it. They are charged with murder. But two days ago they couldn't.

At least that is the law in CAnada...whether or not you'll find a dr to do it that late in pregnancy is another story.

And yes I understand it is the ladies right...but if pregnancy is not a possibilty at this time take other precautions or don't have sex. I'm sure they know how babies are conceived. I was raped, but I knew all along if I was pregnant I would keep the baby...even thougH I was only 14 at the time.

Sometimes we need to take a stand...to stand out for the unborn, pray, attend demonstrations, leave little pamphlets places. Let people know there are other ways.

For me PREVENTION of pregnancy is the key anyways.

I will pray for each and everyone on that list.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Starting fresh

I deleted everything to start over fresh...I have reasons for doing it.
I'm sure most people will understand.