Lord Jesus, you came into the world to heal our infirmities and to endure our sufferings. You went about healing all and bringing comfort to those in pain and need. We come before you now in this time of illness asking that you may be the source of our strength in body, courage in spirit and patience in pain. May we join ourselves more closely to you on the cross and in your suffering that through them we may draw our patience and hope. Assist us and restore us to health so that united more closely to your family, the Church, we may give praise and honour to your name.

Amen.

I still have not been to Mass

I have been really sick. I had major surgery then two major infections after. I laid in bed for days thinking I was dying. I did nothing. Now my hgb is bottomed out and I am tired and like a space zombie. I can barely keep my eyes open long enough to read let alone an hour for Mass. I did go to confession and spoke about this and was told it is not a sin. I am sick, if I chose to miss Mass it would be different.

But how I long to go to Mass. To be there and partake in the eucharist.

Please say a prayer for me that I get better soon so I can start going back to Mass. I miss it so much and my heart burns to go.

Friday : feast day of St. Thomas

I have not been to mass in close to 2 mths. I was manic and couldn't sit still long enough to go. I figured I'd try Friday since it's a short mass and not a lot of people. I was wrong. I forgot about adoration and I didn't realize it was the first Friday.

Anyways during my mania I do weird things. This time I looked up a lot about the jewish faith. Maybe I am suppose to be jewish. I doubted the whole Jesus story at a time.

So the feast day and the readings really touched me about the doubting Thomas. And when the line was read blessed are those who believe but who have not touched me...i knew i was blessed.

Psalm 22

When I was in grade 5 The Gideons gave us a Bible with the New Testament and the Psalms in it. I remember reading the 23 Psalm once and finding the 22 Psalm. I realized the parallel between The Passion of Jesus Christ and that Psalm right away. Last night I was reading it again and was drawn again to the parallels. I am left wondering if the Psalmist realized what was to come? Did God inspire him with a vision of The Passion? Throughout the whole Psalm the person begs for God's help in ending his suffering. What exactly would have happened if God did save Jesus? Removed him from the cross alive? Stopped everything? Took the cup away from Jesus? How would things be different now?

Just a few things rolling around my head early this morning. :)

I should write something

It's been so long since I've posted. Ash Wednesday seems so long ago.
Easter was wonderful, lent was great. I did a lot of reading and soul searaching which has probably got me through the bad times of recently.

I still have not finished the Dolorous passion...it takes a long time to read, process and digest. I did get The Way which is easy and I use it for thoughts of the day.

I also got a book on Catholic writing. I plan on posting some of the stuff on here from the book.

The writings of St. Ambrose remind me so much of Shakespeare. Very difficult to understand.

It's been a year since my mother in law died. God rest her soul. And four months since my friend died. She still had one large cross and three smaller ones at her grave, one from her husband and three from her kids. I still cry about it.

I've been sick, can't sleep at night. Up at 3, back to bed...missed Mass a lot. Good thing they have a service Tuesday nights.

I'll try to update with something a little more interesting later on. :)

Ash Wednesday

I do not make resolutions at New Years. I start thinking about Lent then...so it's been almost 2 mths I've been pondering what I am going to do this year.

I am focusing on a few areas. Some are to increase my spiritual life. Some are for penance reasons. Some are to gain things and to lose other things. It is a time to reflect and refocus. To see where I can improve and what things I plan on continuining.

This year I have decided to pray more. I want to try different types of prayer.
I have a devotional book to follow.
I want to get a copy of The Way and The Dolorous Passion.

I want to give more to others. My patients at work. It has become work...a job. Not something I enjoy. I want to reconnect with why I chose nursing and incorporate it into my spiritual journey.

I want to slow down life and enjoy the moment.

I need to re-evaluate my wants vs needs. I am planning on not going on Facebook or blogging. It takes up too much of my time and is a want...not a need. I want to take that time and focus on more important things.

I also am giving up chocolate. Need some type of penance!

My best friends sister died suddenly late Friday night. She was 33. She was the mother of 3 small children. We had no warning, no time to say good-bye. It was over in the blink of an eye. I guess you just never know what life holds.

I remember the last time I saw her. I wish it had been different but I can't change the past. I remember all the things from all the years I've known her (I've known her since she was born) and take joy in knowing that she had a good life and is with God now.

I am praying for her dad...who lost his wife not too long ago. For my best friend and her 2 brothers who all lost a sister. I am praying for her husband an 3 small children. I am praying that Sarah is in a greater place and that everyone will find the strength to carry on and realize that Jesus is here with us to help us through this.



Prayers After Death

Saints of God, come to her aid!
Come to meet her, angels of the Lord!

Receive her soul and present her to God, the Most High.

May Christ, who called you, take you to himself;
may angels lead you to Abraham's side.

Give her eternal rest, O Lord,
and may your light shine on her forever.

Let us pray.

All-powerful and merciful God,
we commend to you Sarah, your servant.
In your mercy and love,
blot out the sins she has committed through human weakness.
In this world she had died;
let her live with you forever.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord.
And let perpetual light shine upon her.
May she rest in peace.
Amen.

May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace.
Amen.