Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I'll stand by my beliefs

On a parenting forum I go to (where everyone happens to be the world's best parent) someone asked if you will give condoms to your teens.

I answered. No. I will not encourage the pill either. My oldest is almost 15. I have drilled into her head to wait until she is married. That condoms and the pill go against God's wishes...I use the bible passage in Genesis to show her. I tell her the teachings of the church. I tell her about teen pregnancy, STD, HIV etc. I tell her that when you have sex it is to create life and you should not interfere with God's plans. Most of all I tell her about the emotions involved with sex. How girls especially can get hurt emotionally.

I can tell her my beliefs, I can refuse to provide her with condoms and the pill but what she chooses is up to her.

Basically that is what I posted word for word. Guess what...I am niave, my head is in the sand, I am stupid, hopefully I will be a grandma at a young age. Did I practice what I preach...a bunch of mean stuff.

I wrote back and said I am not niave. My dd knows about birth control but she also knows my view points, the Church's and both our beliefs. She is fully informed and can make her own decisions. I must be doing all right raising her because she is 15 in a few months...she has no boyfriends, doesn't talk to them on the phone, comes straight home after school, rarely goes out, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke...the worst thing she does is hog the computer with her SIMS game and drinks my pop.

And you cannot compare my prior sexual acts to what I am teaching now...one I wasn't Catholic and two I was raped at 14 so things would be alot different. Sexual assault survivors are never the same after the attack.

It really burns me that I post a Christian orientated thing and get jumped on. But someone who posts that they are having an affair because there husband isn't paying enough attention to them gets applauded. Grrrr. Think it's time to find a new forum.

Anyways I just wanted to post. In a way I am glad for standing up for what I believe. I rarely post on this forum but just read it. This time I posted, knowing full well I was going to be the one who had a different opinion than everyone else but perhaps one person will at least think seriously about what I wrote.


jessica said...

Hi Jennifer,
Good job on standing up for your beliefs knowing people wouldn't agree with you! Sounds to me like you're raising a fine young woman there, keep up the good work.

You're right if even one parent listens to you it will be worth it, and it can hopefully save some young person a lot of hurt later on.

ukok said...

Good for you for standing up for what you beieve in. The people who dissed you are the ones who will rue the day they took sex outside of marriage, so lightly and presumably, they pass that attitude on to their children.

I'm so sorry for you that you were raped, I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like for you to experience it at such a young age.

I have been in a couple of scary situaions when I was sexually promiscuous, and was afraid that the guy wouldn'd stop, but thankfully, it went no further when i said no.

Keep doing what you are doing, raising your daughter to have respect for her body, to treat sex as a sacred gift that she will give to her spouse on her wedding night.

That's what I want to pass on to my daughter too.

Jennifer said...

Ukok...not that I would ever say the rape was a good thing but it did get me into counselling. Which helped deal with early childhood family issues and my bipolar illness. I think if I didn't have that counselling as a teen I would be worse off now. :)

Tom in Vegas said...

How does the old adage go? Stand for something or you'll fall for anything.

No amount of criticism should deter you from doing the right thing.

God bless all your children and thank God they have you as their parent.